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10 Things Mentally Tough People Do (Advice From a Former Navy SEAL)

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Improve your resiliency–or teach your kids to be mentally tougher–with these important practices.

IMAGE: Getty Images

Resilience is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.”

There’s no surprise that it’s a characteristic of some of the world’s most successful people. It’s also a required trait to endure and succeed in some of the toughest specialties in the U.S. military.

Over on Task and Purpose (a site for members of the U.S. military) and Fatherly (a site for–well, fathers), a former U.S. Navy SEAL named Eric Greitens (now a candidate for Missouri governor, by the way) shared his tips for raising children to be more resilient–rules that also apply to anyone who wants to increase their mental toughness.

(Got ideas for a future column? Contact me and let me know. You might also check out my colleague Chris Matyszczyk’s column about Navy SEALs, leadership, and getting up in the morning.)

Here’s our take on the plan Greitens outlined (you can read his original remarks hereand here):

1. Set a great example.

Like any self-improvement program, increasing resiliency requires demonstrating a commitment. And if you hope to inspire others, such as your children, it’s doubly important.

“To paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, who you are will speak more loudly to your children than anything you say,” says Greitens. “If they see you always able to pick yourself up when you’ve been knocked down, that’s behavior they’re going to adopt intuitively.”

2. Take responsibility.

Responsibility here means over everything that you can control in your life. There are things you can’t control, sure–but know the difference.

“Teach your children early not to pass the blame or make excuses, but to take responsibility for their actions” says Greitens.

Read more:

How to Be Emotionally Intelligent by Daniel Goleman April 7, 2015

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Wesley Bedrosian for The New York Times

What makes a great leader? Knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure. To that, Daniel Goleman, author of “Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence,” would add the ability to identify and monitor emotions — your own and others’ — and to manage relationships. Qualities associated with such “emotional intelligence” distinguish the best leaders in the corporate world, according to Mr. Goleman, a former New York Times science reporter, a psychologist and co-director of a consortium at Rutgers University to foster research on the role emotional intelligence plays in excellence. He shares his short list of the competencies.

1. SELF-AWARENESS

Realistic self-confidence: You understand your own strengths and limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team.

Emotional insight: You understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger.

2. SELF-MANAGEMENT

Emotional balance: You keep any distressful feelings in check — instead of blowing up at people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is.

Self-motivation: You keep moving toward distant goals despite setbacks.

Read more: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/education/edlife/how-to-be-emotionally-intelligent.html?WT.mc_id=2015-KWP-AUD_DEV&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=AUDDEVREMARK&kwp_0=25455&kwp_4=174840&kwp_1=169030&_r=0

Library Superbosses Lead By Creating Careers | Leading from the Library

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By on September 2, 2015 Leave a Comment

Steven BellIt makes sense. Great bosses create workplaces where staff want to be. Lousy bosses make staff miserable so they quit and go elsewhere and try to recover. What exactly does a superboss do?

Have you ever known a superboss? A superboss is more than just a good leader who runs the type of library where staff members want to work and community members want to be. A superboss creates a library legacy primarily through two actions: First, there is a unique ability to identify top talent, staff members who exhibit tremendous potential to do great things. Second, there is leader development at a high level that produces a next generation of library leaders who go out and do great things on their own. To be a superboss means putting the future career success of the library’s executive team or unit heads ahead of one’s own selfish desires to keep subordinates under control and in place. The superboss takes pride in knowing she has given staff opportunities for leadership development, and may be sorry to see good people go on to new jobs but does so knowing they deserve their chance to take the reins and deliver on their own library leadership vision.

FINDING THE SUPERBOSSES

Superboss is hardly the term I would have come up with for the type of leader described above. I might go with the familiar “remarkable leader,” but perhaps there needs to be a more distinctive way to describe a leader who is particularly skilled at developing staff, or whose track record demonstrates an ability to produce subordinates who go out and do great things on their own. A good case is made for the superboss in Sydney Finklestein’s article “Jon Stewart, Superboss.” Finkelstein became interested in the track records of leaders who could be linked to the rise of an industry’s top leaders. He did this by examining fields where the top 50 most prominent or influential individuals could be connected back to one or two leaders who had employed a disproportionate share of those 50. He came up with a group of superbosses across industries and found that “although their personalities varied, these bosses all demonstrated an unusual, even legendary ability to develop the best talent in their industries.” These superbosses are a diverse group, from Lorne Michaels and Oprah Winfrey in entertainment, to Ralph Lauren in fashion, and Bill Walsh in professional sports. One individual in particular has a truly impressive track record.

LAUNCHING CAREERS AND LOVING IT  Read more…

Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Overlook Rudeness at Work

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Heather R. Huhman Contributor Career and Workplace Expert; Founder and President, Come Recommended

August 31, 2015

Anger, gossip and irresponsibility are the sorts of behaviors that come to mind when we think about a toxic workplace, but a new study reveals another behavior leaders should beware of: rudeness.

Rude behavior is contagious and can spread quickly throughout the workplace, according to the study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology in June. The study found impolite interactions cause employees to perceive rudeness in later interactions, which often results in impolite retaliation.

Leaders shouldn’t tolerate this kind of harmful behavior — it’s not something that can be swept under the rug. Here are some ways to address rudeness in the workplace, before it spreads:

1. Set and maintain expectations.

One of the most important employee needs is clear expectations. If there aren’t any established boundaries and expectations, employees don’t have a guideline to follow.

“Great managers don’t just tell employees what’s expected of them and leave it at that; instead, they frequently talk with employees about their responsibilities and progress. They don’t save those critical conversations for once-a-year performance reviews,” states an article published in Gallup’s Business Journal in April.

Establish expectations through frequent conversations with employees. Don’t not just meet monthly or quarterly. Keep a positive tone and address examples of what employees already do well. When gray areas are uncovered, address them by collaborating with employees to determine a set rule.

Related: How the Epidemic of Bad Behavior Affects Your Business

Read more: http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/250005

Image credit: Marie Richie | Flickr

I Didn’t Become a Mentor to Make Others More Like Me

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In this series, professionals thank those who helped them reach where they are today. Read the posts here, then write your own. Use #ThankYourMentor and @mention your mentor when sharing.

Suze Orman

Television host, author, motivational speaker, producer

Too many people try to be great at a lot of stuff. The key to success? Do what you do better than anyone else can possibly do it. Then just do that ONE thing. Whatever you do has to relate to just that ONE thing.

A true powerhouse such as Jillian Michaels does not really need to be mentored — she just needed a sounding board for her already great ideas. Her problem was too many great ideas all going in different directions.

Read more….