How nice people can master conflict | LinkedIn

Workplace | Communication | Career advice

by Travis Bradberry | LinkedIn Influencer | 03-20-16

When you’re a nice person, conflict can be a real challenge. Not that mean people are any better at conflict; they just enjoy it more.

New research from Columbia University shows that how you handle conflict can make or break your career. The researchers measured something scientifically that many of us have seen firsthand—people who are too aggressive in conflict situations harm their performance by upsetting and alienating their peers, while people who are too passive at handling conflict hinder their ability to reach their goals.

The secret to effective handling of conflict is assertiveness—that delicate place where you get your needs met without bullying the other person into submission. Assertive people strike a careful balance between passivity and aggression (that is, they never lean too far in either direction).

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What Trader Joe’s Figured Out About Work Culture That My Other Past Employers Haven’t

Workplace | Employment | Leadership

By Hayley Benham-Archdeacon—Lattice | 09.13.17

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[Photo: ablokhin/iStock]

When I was hired by Trader Joe’s at 16, I wasn’t even legally able to run a register. I was told I was hired based on my personality, even if I was almost useless. By the time I left seven years later, I’d worked across six different stores. And I don’t know how they do it, but they have the best managers possible, consistently.

Trader Joe’s hierarchy is organized unlike anywhere else I’ve worked. Each store runs with one captain, and a team of eight to 12 mates. Everyone else is crew. And yes, they are thorough with the sailor-ship deck theme.

I thought that having so many middle managers would cause problems, but in fact it turns out to be good for everyone. Oversight of opening and closing shifts are distributed evenly, and tasks and assignments are rotated throughout the week, which means no one is stuck taking in the frozen truck at 4 a.m. every single morning, or closing out our computers every night until midnight. Maybe that’s why managers are able to stay so nice to us. And if you don’t feel comfortable going to one manager about a problem or personal event? No problem, you have 10 others to speak to.

At my last store, my coworker was having a rough time in his personal life and the frustration was beginning to show at work. We watched a manager take him out back, presumably for a stern talking to. In fact, the manager handed him a box of broken eggs from the spoils cart, taped a plastic pallet wrap up to the wall of our loading dock, and told him to throw eggs at the wall until he felt better. It worked.

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How to Bounce Back: 5 Resilience Building Strategies for Your Career | LinkedIn

Career advice | Resilience | Emotional Intelligence

by Dr. Marla Gottschalk January 24, 2017

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I’ve often wondered why building resilience isn’t a key business imperative. My opinion is such, primarily because being human, is often at odds with work life. Work can routinely bring stress, negativity, setbacks and outright failures — and most of us are challenged to combat the effects.

We often frame conversations about resilience with stories of extreme hardship or extenuating circumstances. However, resilience could serve as an ever-present, daily mentor, helping us to rebound from the collected pressures of work life. Most of us forge on — taking little note of the increasing toll — and building resilience isn’t considered.

This can be a serious mistake.

Through all of the trials and tribulation, we rarely notice that our psychological resources are waning.We muddle on. We develop idiosyncratic mechanisms to bolster our mood and maintain motivation. However, the damage accumulates. We become less able to bounce back. Months later, we may realize that we still lament the project that has been cut, laid off co-workers or failing to land an important client. Read more…

 

You’ll never be famous: And that’s O.K. | Op-Ed

Career advice | Emotional intelligence |Education

 

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Charlotte Ager

Today’s college students desperately want to change the world, but too many think that living a meaningful life requires doing something extraordinary and attention-grabbing like becoming an Instagram celebrity, starting a wildly successful company or ending a humanitarian crisis.

Having idealistic aspirations is, of course, part of being young. But thanks to social media, purpose and meaning have become conflated with glamour: Extraordinary lives look like the norm on the internet. Yet the idea that a meaningful life must be or appear remarkable is not only elitist but also misguided. Over the past five years, I’ve interviewed dozens of people across the country about what gives their lives meaning, and I’ve read through thousands of pages of psychology, philosophy and neuroscience research to understand what truly brings people satisfaction.

The most meaningful lives, I’ve learned, are often not the extraordinary ones. They’re the ordinary ones lived with dignity. Read more…

How to say no at work | Employer

Employment | Communication in the workplace | Career advice

by Reuben Yonatan, founder and CEO of GetVoIP | Undercover Recruiter

Perhaps the most important skill to learn at work is prioritization. By taking on some projects and declining others, it is possible to control your work quality more effectively, something that is absolutely crucial.

But learning when and how to say no is something particularly difficult in an American professional climate where people tend to be boastful about overwork to an unhealthy degree.

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A New Study Says Anxiety Can Help You Perform Better — But Only If You Know How To Respond To It

Emotional Intelligence | Mental Health | Career Advice

Amy Morin, contributor Forbes August 12, 2017

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Shutterstock

Anxiety is probably the most common reason people enter my therapy office. From specific phobias to generalized anxiety disorders, people are often desperate to do whatever it takes to get rid of their discomfort.

While you may not have a diagnosable anxiety disorder, there’s no doubt you experience anxiety sometimes. Whether the thought of giving a speech makes your heart race or your fear of asking for a raise leaves your palms sweaty, anxious feelings are normal.

In an effort to spare yourself from anxiety, you might decline to take a risk or decide to stay inside your comfort zone. After all, anxiety is uncomfortable and an easy way to prevent it is to avoid anything anxiety-provoking.

But new research shows anxiety isn’t always harmful. In fact, it could improve your performance if you know how to respond to it. Read more…